We tasted 9 zero proof rums, and to be honest, none of them really tasted like rum, But some of them tasted quite good! And some of them were vile. We suffered so you can survive Dry January.

This zero-proof rum from 270º Botanicals gave us strong notes of latex and pineapple, with subtler hints of bubblegum.

This zero-proof rum from Lyre’s gave us strong notes of pineapple and coconut, with subtler hints of butter, ginger, flowers, chile, citrus.

This zero proof rum from ArKay gave us strong notes of vanilla cake and refrigerant, with subtler hints of bubblegum, cotton candy, coconut, and crayon.

This zero proof rum from 270º Botanicals gave us strong notes of latex and burnt meat, with subtler hints of caramel, artificial coffee, and nondescript nut.

This zero proof rum from Lyre’s gave us strong notes of caramel, with subtler hints of cola, butterscotch, baking spice and mint.

This zero proof rum from Strykk gave us strong notes of mint, and ginger, with subtler hints of black tea, orange, vanilla and oak.

This zero proof rum from Crystal gave us insanely strong notes of bubblegum and not much else. Perhaps this was a bit of peach.

This zero proof rum from Monday gave us strong notes of cereal and oak, with subtler hints of oak, caramel, citrus, banana, and decaf coffee.

This zero proof rum from Ritual gave us strong notes of cereal and baking spice, with subtler hints of charred apricot, oak, ginger, cinnamon and citrus.

We tested the accuracy of using a refractometer to measure alcohol by volume in rum. While not perfect, we think this method is good enough to be useful. Warning: incredibly nerdy.